Ad-Durur Al-Bahiyah fi Masaa’il Al-Fiqhiyyah – The Book of Marriage (Part 3)

Chapter 3: The rules of dowry and relations with wives

Paying a dowry is obligatory[1] but it is disliked to exaggerate its amount.[2] It is valid and acceptable if the dowry is only a ring of iron or teaching the Qur’an[3].

One who marries a woman without mentioning the amount of dowry should give her a dowry equal to a dowry that had been paid to any of her female relatives if he co-habits with her. It is recommended to give some of the dowry before intercourse with the wife.[4] The husband’s relation with his wife must be good and mannerly.[5] The wife must show obedience and servitude.[6]

As for one who is married to more than one wife, he is to be just in his visits and other necessary matters.[7] Moreover, he should cast lots among his wives when he intends to go on journey.[8] Also it is up to the woman to give up her turn or agree with her husband.[9] The husband should stay with the new virgin wife seven nights and with the previously married three nights.[10]

It is not permissible to ejaculate semen outside the uterus[11] or have sexual intercourse through the anus.

Section: The Illegitimate child
The child belongs to the husband (or master). There is no consideration in the child’s similarity to other than the one to whom he belongs . If it happens that three shared sexual intercourse in a bondmaid (slave-girl), and each possessed her in a period of purity, then she gave birth and all three claim possession of the child, if this happens, casting lots among the three is the way out. The one who wins the lot owes a third of the blood money for the others.

References: 

[1] Qur’an: Allah says – “…and give the women their bridal-money is the least.” Surah Nisaa: 4

[2] Sahih: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The best of marriage is that which is made easiest.” Recorded by Ibn Hibbaan, graded as Sahih by sheikh albani in Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 3300.  And he (ﷺ) said: “The best of mahrs is the simplest (or most affordable).” Recorded by al-Haakim and al-Bayhaqi, classed as Sahih by sheikh albani in Sahih al-Jaami’, no. 3279.

[3] Sahih: Sahl ibn Sa’d reported: I was with people in the presence of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) with a woman stood up and she said, “O Messenger of Allah, she has given herself in marriage to you, so what is your opinion?” He did not give a reply. She again stood up and she said, “O Messenger of Allah, she has given herself to you, so give your opinion of her.” He again did not reply. She stood up a third time and she said, “She has given herself in marriage to you, so what is your opinion of her?” A man stood up and he said, “O Messenger of Allah, marry her to me.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Do you have anything for dowry?” He said, “No.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Go find something, even an iron ring.” So he went and looked until he came back and he said, “I could not find anything, even an iron ring.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Have you learned something from the Quran?” He said, “Yes, I know chapter such-and-such.” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Go, for I have married you both with what you have learned from the Quran.” Recorded by Bukhari no. 4854

[4] Sahih: The Prophet (ﷺ) said to Ali ibn Abi Taalib, when he married Fatimah, “Give her something for dowry”. Ali said, “I don’t have anything”. He (ﷺ) said, “Where is your shield.” Recorded by Abu Dawud. Graded Sahih by sheikh albani in Sahih Sunan Abi Dawud no. 1865. Here the order of the Prophet (ﷺ) is taken as a matter of preference and not obligatory because of other evidences like when the Prophet (ﷺ) married a man to a woman without any bridal-money and the man did not give anything to his wife…” the hadith is recorded by Abu Dawud and graded Sahih by sheikh albani in al-Irwaa al-Ghaleel no. 1924.

[5] Sahih: Narrated Abu Hurairah: The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely.” Recorded by Bukhari 3331

Hasan: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said, “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anything other than Allaah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman will fulfil her duty towards her Lord unless she fulfils her duty towards her husband, and if he asks her for herself when she is sitting on a saddle, she should not refuse him.” The phrase “he asks her for herself” refers to the husband asking for intercourse, and the phrase “on a saddle” refers to the saddle used for riding a camel. The hadeeth is urging women to obey their husbands and if they cannot refuse them when they are in this situation (i.e., about to ride off on a camel) then how can they refuse them in other cases? (Recorded by Ibn Maajah, 1843. Graded Hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5239, 5295).

[6] Sahih: Abu Hurairah narrated that The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “If I were to order anyone to prostrate to anyone, then I would order the wife to prostrate to her husband.” Recorded by Tirmidhi. Graded Sahih by sheikh albani in Irwaa- Al-Ghaleel, vol. 7, p. 54 – 58. This Hadith also shows the unique importance of the wife’s obedience to her husband within her capacity and as long as he does not order her to disobey Allah.

[7] Sahih: Abu Hurairah narrated that: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: “When a man has two wives and he is not just between them, he will come on the Day of Judgment with one side drooping.” Recorded by Tirmidhi. Graded Sahih by sheikh albani in Sahih al-Jami’ no. 761

[8] Sahih: Narrated `Aisha: Whenever the Prophet (ﷺ) intended to proceed on a journey, he used to draw lots amongst his wives and would take the one upon whom the lot fell. Once, before setting out for Jihad, he drew lots amongst us and the lot came to me; so I went with the Prophet; and that happened after the revelation of the Verse Hijab (i.e. veiling). Recorded by Bukhari no. 2879. Therefore, if anyone of the wife’s lot comes out, then she is to travel with her husband as the Prophet (ﷺ) used to do.

[9] Sahih: Narrated `Aisha: Sauda bint Zam`a gave up her turn to me (`Aisha), and so the Prophet (ﷺ) used to give me (`Aisha) both my day and the day of Sauda. Recorded by Bukhari no. 5212

[10] Sahih: Narrated Anas: The tradition, (of the Prophet ﷺ) is that if someone marries a virgin and he has already a matron wife (with him), then he should stay with the virgin for seven days; and if someone marries a matron (and he has already a virgin wife with him) then he should stay with her for three days. Recorded by Bukhari no. 5213

[11] Sahih: Al-‘Azl – ejaculation outside the woman’s vulva. It is permissible as long as one’s wife agrees otherwise this act will deprive her of having pleasure. Jabir (Allah be pleased with him) reported: We used to practise ‘Azl during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ). This (the news of this practise) reached Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ), and he did not forbid us. Recorded by Muslim no. 1440

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